Archive for P31 Challenges

P31 Challenge: Speak for Good

Sunday, February 26th, 2012

Hey ladies! This morning in our small group at church we did the second lesson of The Five Love Languages study by Gary Chapman and discussed what it means to offer Words of Affirmation. I’ve mentioned this before to groups I speak to, but oh my goodness, words are powerful and you can use them for good or for harm, so we need to be intentional that we’re using them for good! So… I think this week’s challenge may “speak” for itself…

This week, be purposeful and intentional about the words you speak. If it helps, write down a few words you can use for both your husband and your children. Words that lift them up, encourage them, give them assurance. Words that let them know you love them no matter what. Also be intentional about the words you don’t use. No name calling, even in jest. At our house, and this has been this way since day 1 of our marriage, we don’t put each other down. We don’t call each other names. Period. We don’t point out flaws or faults – we focus on strengths and accomplishments.

I can’t wait to hear how your week goes!

By the way, I took the love language quiz online – you can too. I tied with a score of 9 for both Words of Affirmation and Acts of Service, which is slightly different from what I got the last time we took this class which was about 7 or 8 years ago, where Acts of Service was my #1 primary language. (And just for the record, even if you or your spouse’s primary love language isn’t Words of Affirmation – it’s still important to offer these to each other any way.)

To take the quiz and find out more about the 5 Love Languages, visit 5lovelanguages.com.

 

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Categories : P31 Challenges

P31 Challenge: What has He blessed you with already?

Monday, January 23rd, 2012

I’ve been trying to keep up with some of the bloggers who are taking the P31 Challenge this year, as well as reading your FB posts for those of you who are reading through the book or have just finished it.

What I’m finding is that as women, we sure do beat ourselves up a lot, don’t we? We talked a little bit about that at a women’s ministry planning retreat I sat in on at my church on Saturday – there was a whole list on an easel that showed the anxieties and insecurities and frustrations we experience on a daily basis if not sometimes all at once!

This was definitely a problem for me when I was going through my experiment, and I always chuckle (and cringe) a little when I read reviews from women and they mention it. Because they’re right – during that year, I questioned and second-guessed myself all over the place. The experiment could have been a whole lot happier I think if I had been able to approach it from a more positive frame of mind.

Psalm 86:15 says, “But You, Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger and rich in faithful love and truth.” If I want to emulate and follow God’s example, who I know from His Word is slow to anger, and rich in faithful love and truth, why am I not compassionate with myself? Why am I so quick to get angry with myself (and then in the process, often angry with others around me, namely my family?) Why do I give up so quickly with myself, and yet so often give others second and third chances?

So.. this week, I want our challenge to focus on what we’re doing right. It is REALLY easy to find everything we’re struggling with. But God has already blessed us with some great skills and talents and qualities as wives and moms, too! Your challenge this week is to focus on three qualities or talents you have as a wife or mom and come back here and share it with the rest of us.  No, you’re not bragging. No, you’re not being “proud”. You are in a tangible way, saying out loud to yourself, what God has equipped you with. Because sometimes we need to say it out loud. So we’ll remember. (And if you have trouble coming up with three yourself – don’t be shy, ask your husband, your kids, and if they’re no help, your friends!)

Then I want you to intentionally look for those qualities and talents as you go through your week. How do you use them now? How could you maybe use them in other areas too? Like, you may be super organized when it comes to your schedule but you still struggle with getting the laundry done. It may be more of a change in heart that’s needed than a change in time or better organizational skills. See what I mean?

So, share your three best qualities, and let’s focus on those this week. It’s going to be a great week, don’t you think?!

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Categories : P31 Challenges

P31 Challenge: Make Time

Tuesday, January 17th, 2012

I don’t know about you, but time always seems to be in short supply for me. (A perfect example is this post which should have been posted yesterday. Time did not cooperate.)

And yet, as a wife and mom, time is demanded. Constantly. There is always something needing my attention, whether it’s a project I’ve initiated myself or things that have been brought to me to deal with by my family.

The question – the difficulty – the problem – is managing our time. Knowing in an instant what’s important and what isn’t; what needs to be looked at right now and what can wait. I am not always good at this. Sometimes little stuff trips me up when I should be working on big stuff. Sometimes I’m so overwhelmed with big things that I neglect little things that really wouldn’t take that much time if I’d just stop and deal with it at that moment instead of adding it to the “I’ll get to it later” pile.

Now I know why Solomon prayed for wisdom.

As women, we definitely need wisdom, don’t we? We have a lot to juggle, a lot to deal with, and a lot we’re responsible for.

So for this week’s challenge, I’m challenging you to make time. This may look different for different people, but the question I want you to ask yourself is “am I using my time wisely right now?” or even better, “Am I using my time right now the way God wants me to?” (Ouch, I know, THAT is a tough question!) Do you tend to throw dishes into the sink and let them pile up before you actually put them in the dishwasher? Stop, take a minute, and put a glass in the dishwasher instead. Same with laundry. Try to do at least a load in the morning to wash and at least a load at night to dry. It will take less than 10 minutes and will keep you from feeling like you’re dealing with Mt. Laundry at the end of the week. Do you find yourself playing a whole lot on FB, looking at other people’s pictures of what they’re doing? Um… get off FB and come up with your own adventures!

Have you called a friend recently? Have you made time to have time with friends? That may be something you want to do this week. What about time with your husband? Have you made time to just sit and enjoy a tv show together or take a few minutes to plan out the answer to the age-old question, “What’s for dinner?” so everyone isn’t stressed and grumpy every night trying to figure it out. Do you find yourself just wanting to be a bum after dinner instead of helping your kids with their homework or maybe doing something more fun? Give yourself an hour after the kids go to bed to have time for yourself, and spend that time they’re still up doing what needs to be done.

We had an elderly man stop in our Sunday school class this past Sunday who shared a little story with us. For the last 45 years, he has been in charge of a nursing home church service sponsored by our church. He was around the age of our class members (thirties) when he was asked to do it. When he first started, he didn’t like doing it. He really didn’t want to do it. Weeks went by and he met each service with a frown and a grumble inside. But one week he finally stopped and talked to God about it and realized it was his attitude that was the biggest problem. So he changed it. And he started looking for the good of what he was spending his time on (which was really just an hour a week on a Sunday afternoon). And he saw it.

So that’s what I want to challenge us this week with. To make time for the right things, the important things, and look for the good in those things. And if we have to, change our attitudes. Because at the end of the day, it won’t be about money or material possessions… it will be how we spent our time. So let’s make it count.

What do you need to focus your time on (in short spurts or longer)? 

What can you spend your time better doing?

What can you cut out and save your time for other things?

 

P31 Challenge: Choose Your Season Part 2

Wednesday, January 11th, 2012

I realized after I posted our weekly challenge on Monday that because I was running out the door to avoid being late for Zumba, I completely forgot the second part of what I wanted to add for our challenge!

Once you’ve figured out which season you’re focusing on this year (maybe it’s growing closer to God as a wife and mom, being smarter with your priorities, getting better in the kitchen or with the housework), you need to make some goals on how you’re going to do that. Start small – the bigger the list, the less likely you’re going to accomplish what you’re setting out to do. (And you can always add to your list as you see your first few goals going well.)

One thing I’m doing since this is my season to focus on priorities is to work on not getting so upset when it feels like life is getting out of control or I question whether I’m doing what I’m supposed to. One of my devotions I read in Jesus Calling earlier this month offered the tip of saying “I trust you Jesus” any time you’re hit with that feeling of uncertainty. I’ve found it’s helped a lot to use this verbal statement to shut down my worrying ways. Because if my priorities are right, God will work all of it out. The point is to trust Him with all of it. And worrying and fretting doesn’t help my attitude, and that doesn’t help how I interact and treat my family.

So… think about your season and what steps you’re taking so you know you’ll be able to grow and see some wonderful changes by the end of it. I’d love to hear what you’re doing!

 

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Categories : P31 Challenges

P31 Challenge: Choose Your Season

Monday, January 9th, 2012

How’s your New Year going so far? While I don’t make New Year “resolutions” any more  - mainly because when I did “resolve” to do something, that “resolve” usually disappeared within a week of declaring it. True story – I once decided I was only going to drink water for an entire year – the next day I had a Coke in my hand – had COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN what I’d said the day before! So… I don’t do resolutions.

I do try to set some goals, though the older I get, the more I’m learning that less is more. Meaning: set less goals and you may have a shot of reaching them.

I think we can get too carried away with THE LIST sometimes. Whether it’s a New Year’s resolution list, a goal list, or just a to-do list (I am so guilty of this), we include everything but the kitchen sink and then wonder why we feel so overwhelmed.

I felt this way about the Proverbs 31 wife for a long time too – you look at that passage of scripture, and that long list of things she does, and does so well – and you wonder: how will I ever measure up?

Well, one thing I read from a couple of different scholars about the Proverbs 31 wife is that one theory about her life, and this passage of scripture, is that this LIST was not a 24-hour one… but rather a record of seasons of her life. These were things she did over a lifetime… and not in one day’s time.

Now, when I talk about seasons, I’m not talking about spring, summer, winter or fall, but rather the seasons of our lives. That season when we’re first married and getting to know our husbands, the season of maybe starting a career or starting a family or both, or that season when the kids are off to school and you finally can focus on going back to school yourself. Sometimes the seasons are emotional ones – when great stress or crisis has hit us hard. Whatever the season, God can use them to teach us and mold us into the women He wants us to be.

There are teachable seasons too, and that’s what I want us to work on this week. Sometimes God wants us to focus on our families, or on our marriages, or on ourselves. This doesn’t mean if I feel He wants me to work on my relationship with Him that I’m supposed to be in Bible study 8 hours a day and neglect my family and my husband. But it does mean I try to make some special time and effort for that teachable season He’s put me in.

So… your P31 Challenge this week is to Choose Your Season. What, as a wife and perhaps a mom, is the teachable season God wants you to focus on this year? Is it cooking better meals and learning new and fun ways to enjoy the kitchen more? Is it staying more organized and focusing on a schedule so everyone knows where they have to be when? Is it making more time for Bible reading and prayer (and we should all be doing that every day, but for some of us, there is a special season where God wants to teach us and help us develop a strong habit in spending time with Him).

One thing I learned from the P31 Experiment was that I didn’t have to try and learn and do everything at once. The biggest thing I had to work on first was my attitude. This past year I really started focusing on cooking – and I’m getting better! This year I’m focusing on PRIORITY – I don’t really like the word “balance”  because balance implies everything is put in the same size buckets – but not everything deserves the same amount of attention so I use the word priority, and what I mean by that is I want to make sure  I’m giving the right amount of time to the right priorities. So I don’t get all hung up on my work and neglect my family, but at the same time, I don’t abandon important things in my ministry I know God has brought to me to work on.

OK… so… what’s your Teaching Season this year? (By the way, this is different than your Word for the Year, if you do that as well. My word this year, by the way, is Courage. Need a lot of it, and I’m trusting God for it!)

Can’t wait to hear about what you’re going to focus on for your season this year!

 

 

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Categories : P31 Challenges

P31 Challenge: What will you choose?

Monday, January 2nd, 2012

MyProverbs31Life.com

It’s a new year, friends! Happy 2012! I have to say 2011 was probably one of the most challenging years I can remember ever living through – but wow, God taught me a lot. That’s usually the way it goes, right? We don’t get a workout just sitting there – we have to actually go run – or jog – or walk. But we start. Our muscles get stretched, and pushed, and often tired. But we see results on the other side.

Since the book came out this past fall, it has been a thrill and a humbling privilege to hear from many of you who have read it and identified with my experiment. Just yesterday I got a note from a reader that made me smile and go “aww.” Reba wrote that as a working mom, a mom of four – including two adopted children from another country – she has often felt criticism for being a Christian and for working. She sees her job as a teacher as a ministry, and neither she or her husband feel like she’s supposed to step away from that. She knows she does good for her husband and her family… but she said she also goes to bed many times “feeling defeated.”

But after reading the book, she said that she feels “better. I feel encouraged. I feel challenged.  I feel understood.”

Thank you so much, Reba, for sharing that. I am so glad God used the book to encourage you  in your own journey as a wife and mom. He is certainly still teaching me! Every day seems to offer a new lesson, and sometimes I get it – and sometimes He has to put me in the remedial class.

Just yesterday I was having a mini-panic attack as I was looking at the “master” to-do list I thought would be a good idea to start of everything I “need” to do. The problem with my to-do lists is I don’t just write down things like “go get groceries for the week,” or “get the oil changed in the car.” No, I also write down things like “plan out the new Bible study” and “redo website.” And then kick myself because it’s been a week and I haven’t gotten it done. Yeah. Really need to get that overachievement growth removed sometime. (And please, before the emails start – yes, I know about breaking down projects and taking them little steps at a time. I just don’t do that very well.)

But then I was reminded this morning of where my focus needs to start. And it’s not on the to-do list. See if this situation sounds familiar to you.

While they were traveling, He entered a village, and a woman named Martha  welcomed Him into her home. She had a sister named Mary, who also sat at the Lord’s  feet  and was listening to what He said.  But Martha was distracted by her many tasks, and she came up and asked, “Lord, don’t You care  that my sister has left me to serve alone? So tell her to give me a hand.” The Lord  answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things,  but one thing is necessary. Mary has made the right choice,  and it will not be taken away from her.” (Luke 10:38-42)

Sometimes I can so identify with Martha. Jesus may not be physically sitting in my house, but often I am still rushing around just like He is, wanting to “do” and complete all of these plans to honor Him. But how often are those plans His? How often are they, maybe, just maybe, just little ole’ mine? And He has a much different idea for me?

So… I know many of you are looking forward to the P31 challenges this year – I am too! – but before we jump in, and before we even start the first one I’d planned to announce this week – we’re going to take a little detour and for our first challenge, remind ourselves where our focus needs to start.

Because whatever you desire to do this year – whether it’s get a little better in your cooking, or your organization or your parenting – our focus as wives and moms starts with God and His plans for our year.

My greatest need – my greatest task, if you will – is to know God better. Yes, I can be a doer. And yes, like Mary, Martha’s sister, I can be a thinker, and focus on the thoughts of God. But the bottom line is knowing Him. Period.

So this week, YOUR CHALLENGE IS to spend a little time with Him each day. Put Him first before everything else. 

Something new I’m going to do for these challenges in 2012 is just have you respond to this original post (instead of doing another one on Fridays). I’d love to hear how the challenge goes for you. Some of you like the accountability of that. Or, in the immortal words of Nike, just do it. And don’t feel like you have to post. But seek God and ask Him to change your life. He will!

Here are some additional readings this week that may be helpful in reminding you more about where our focus should be. I pray this first challenge is your best!

Monday – Luke 10:39-42
Tuesday – Psalm 46:10-11
Wednesday – Matthew 6:25-34
Thursday – Matthew 11:28-30
Friday – Philippians 4:6-7

 

P31 Challenge: Organize your small spaces

Sunday, October 23rd, 2011

Hi ladies!

Well, here’s the challenge for this week. I notice that the more cluttered the small places get, like my closet, or the bathroom, or the laundry room, or even that kitchen pantry, the more hectic life feels.

Your challenge this week: I challenge you to take some time to put your hand to some of the small spaces that need it. Is it your closet? Pull out those clothes that you don’t wear anymore and rehang what you keep in an order that makes sense to you! Straighten up your pantry and throw out anything that’s expired. It doesn’t have to take a long time – we’re not talking deep cleaning… stretch it out over a few days if you must… but straighten out those small spaces and enjoy knowing things are once again organized!

Tell me how you did on Friday!

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Categories : P31 Challenges

P31 Response: How is technology helping, or distracting, you?

Saturday, October 22nd, 2011

OK, ladies, this has been an interesting week and as much as technology has helped me – it’s also distracted me. Sorry for getting the response post up a day late. I hope to get back on track next week!

We’re talking about technology and just observing how much we use it and how we use it. I noticed this week I had to make a very conscious effort to PUT THE PHONE DOWN. I just got the new iPhone 4GS (and since it followed my 3G – it’s been like Christmas on overdrive) and I’ve discovered all sorts of things I can do that I couldn’t with my slower phone.

But with that help, also comes distraction. Constantly checking email. Facebook. Twitter. I had to put away my phone and laptop at night, focus on family time, and even picked up some cross-stitching I worked on.

Technology has helped as well. I’ll be doing a separate post on this, but I am using a fantastic app to keep track of my calories and exercise, as well as another one that helps me in my running. Then today I just found some really cool tech tools to help with shopping.

OK, so how did it go for you this past week? What did you notice in your use of technology?

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Categories : P31 Challenges

P31 Challenge: How is technology helping, or distracting, you?

Monday, October 17th, 2011

Happy Monday! The challenge this week may step on a lot of toes, but trust me, I’ll be the one limping most when it’s all said and done! My intent was to post the new weekly challenge on Sunday afternoon, as I’ve been doing, but Friday, I had a little something come in the mail (the Apple 4GS – note bright light and chorus of angelic voices here). Since I’ve had a 3G for almost 3 years now I guess, yes – the 3G, not even the 3GS – I was VERY excited. And as a result, VERY distracted once it got here. I’ve been learning all the new features and yesterday afternoon figured out I needed to upload some new software (OS X Lion) for my Mac in order to have everything working *just* right.

And I completely forgot about posting a challenge.

So… this week’s challenge is to observe all of the technology you use in your life – and what is really helpful in your role as a wife – and what’s really distracting. I’m not going to challenge you to cut back Facebook time to 20 hours a week instead of 40 (ha, that’s an exaggeration… I really hope)  - no, I just want you to NOTICE all the ways you have technology to help you – or hinder you. And make a list. At the end of the week, we’re going to post our lists and chat a bit on what helps and what doesn’t. Because let me just say, the Proverbs 31 Wife may not have had a microwave, but she would have used it (I’m pretty sure) if she did.

So there’s your challenge. Can’t wait to see what you observe!

Incidentally, I’ll try to post on Twitter this week any time I use technology for anything. Feel free to follow… twitter.com/myprov31life 

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Categories : P31 Challenges

P31 Response: Do the Small Things

Friday, October 14th, 2011

I’ve been focusing on doing the small things for a while now. And, like with a lot of lessons I’m learning, I have found that it’s less about the things I get done, and more about the attitude and frame of mind that this focus puts me in. This week was a little challenging – without going into a lot of detail, my hormones were WAY out of whack – and I’d done it to myself! I felt horrible physically and wasn’t exactly emotionally motivated to do much of anything. But I tried to focus on what I’ve been doing. Taking care of laundry before it piled up into one huge pile. Keeping the towels folded neatly under the cabinets. Keeping the kitchen sink cleaned out. Thanking my husband for taking care of me when I wasn’t feeling well. We’re talking small things after all. And sometimes we have to start out in small ways.

So to recap this week, your challenge was to work on focusing on the small things. How did you do? What went great? What went wrong?

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