I recently discovered the magic of good cookware.

For years, I was the wife who picked up the cheap baking sheets or the inexpensive non-stick pans and pots in the grocery store. And then wondered why a year later why they “weren’t working right,” ie., burning everything or cooking unevenly, or flecking and deteriorating (part of this does have to do with my ability to cook but that is a WHOLE other posting for another day).

But during my time living at the inlaws, I did manage to learn a few lessons, and one of those was that when it comes to cookware, you get what you pay for – and how you take care of it matters too.

Most of the time I was content to throw baking sheets, pots, pans, anything in the dishwasher – mainly because I was too lazy to take the five minutes to wash them. If you’re smarter than me (and judging from my recent Facebook post regarding spaghetti squash, most of you are), you already know that dishwashing detergent can scratch and mess up a nice pan or baking sheet.

So under my mother-in-law’s patient tutelage (and sometimes direct threats – “Do NOT put this in the dishwasher!!”) I’ve learned that you can actually keep cookware and bakeware for more than a year. But you have to start with good quality, and then good care.

The other day, I brought home a few new pieces of Watkins bakeware and when I got ready to make cornbread muffins, I was faced with a choice. Muffin cups – or no muffin cups? I usually always play it safe and use paper muffin cups mainly because the cheap pans I’ve always used would cause the cornbread to stick or burn. But I decided to go for it – and voila – I had beautiful mini corn muffins with no real mess!

See what a great pan can do?

So this got me thinking….

In what other ways or other areas of our lives have we settled for the cheap imitation? What have we accepted as ok just because it’s fast or easy or cheap?

We accept Facebook friendships because there’s no real commitment and we can just as quickly “unfriend” someone as become someone’s friend.

We fill our freezers with microwaveable meals because we’re too tired or too lazy to cook. And our waistlines show it.

We let our kids hang out on electronics all day instead of making them play outside (the street our house is on is currently a ghost town. There were more kids playing outside during the school year then now that it’s summer).

I’m working on a yard sale we’re having this weekend , getting rid of a bunch of stuff we’ve gone through since moving into our house. I hope to blog about this and share some tips – I’m a nerd when it comes to yard sales – probably my inner kid who always wanted to own a store coming out to play.

What if we could get rid of some of those cheap imitations we’ve allowed to take up residence in our lives, as easily as we put stuff in a yard sale?

We can, when we follow and imitate what’s real.

Check out 3 John, verse 11 – “Dear friend,  do not imitate what is evil, but what is good.”

There’s a lot of imitations out there today, trying to sell us on what will make us instantly happy.

But at what cost? To our families? To our marriages? To ourselves?

I shared this verse with my son yesterday as we were talking about the importance of God and family (his 11-year-old mind was having trouble understanding how God should come first before Mom or Dad).

John 14:6  reads, “Jesus told him, ‘I am  the way,  the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.’”

The only way as wives and moms that we can discern the true from the fake in our world today is by reading and studying God’s Word daily.

Accept no cheap imitation.

This morning was a usual hustle and bustle kind of morning. Cliff got ready to leave, Caleb was up, putting out the trash that he’d failed to get to yesterday before going to bed and I was tending to our dog who has developed a hot spot he hasn’t had in quite a while. This is the busy season for our family – and the next three weeks will be very busy with speaking engagements and wrapping up work for a couple of graduate classes I’ve worked on this spring. But I’m still trying to stay focused and engaged on being there for my family.

So I made pancakes for breakfast for Caleb this morning because he asked me too. But this morning, the batter exploded. Like, literally. Flour and water went “BOOM”. I would like to say it hit the fan (and that would be fairly accurate since 1) we have a fan in our kitchen and 2) the batter went everywhere and could quite possibly have gone that high). But I’ll just say it exploded and leave it at that.

I was using the little Bisquick Shake ‘N Pour bottle. Love these things because you just add water, shake, and pour. (Thus, the name, in case you weren’t sure.) But apparently I shook it too hard, because as I twisted the lid to open the bottle and pour the batter onto the griddle, I was surprised with a big PWOOOF that sounded like a fairly large plastic bag full of air exploding. I had pancake batter on my night shirt (pajama top sounds too pajamamy – this is just a comfortable t-shirt I like to sleep in occasionally), on the stove top, and the floor (and I will probably go back and check the fan after I write this). It seemed to be everywhere! Who knew that much pressure could build up from just adding water and shaking?

But of course, as I sighed and half-chuckled at myself, wiped up the batter mess and kept going on Caleb’s pancakes, I got to thinking about that pressure. (I’m never one to miss a spiritual lesson if I can find it – just wish sometimes I would learn these lessons BEFORE the batter is dripping off of my countertop and down my cabinets.)

Because, I think as wives, we deal with a lot of pressure, don’t we? Sometimes I think we’d like to blame others for putting that pressure on us, but in the end, if we’re honest, I think a lot of that pressure comes from ourselves. My husband doesn’t ask for a perfect house – I do. My son doesn’t care about a fancy breakfast or dinner – I’m the one more concerned about the little details than they are. And all of the things I deem so important… if I sat down and wrote out what really was important – well, many of the things I spend time and energy staying focused on probably would not be on that list.

Part of what I struggle with is that pressure doesn’t come at me all at once. It builds up, and it builds up usually because I’ve added too many things and taken on too much. That’s when the pressure becomes obvious but by then, well, it’s PRESSURE. I’m in the thick of it.  And I guess the obvious answer to keeping that pressure from building is to not allow so many things to build up that pressure in the first place.

But what happens when the pressure is already built? Well, somewhere you have to release it. Somehow, you have to lessen it.

Give it to God. Psalm 29:11 says “The Lord gives His people strength;  the Lord blesses His people with peace.” Ideally, we need to give each day to God before it starts. But if you’ve found yourself past that, if you’ve found that you’ve missed a few days and now you’re in a big ole’ pressured pickle – you can still give it to God. And He will help guide you through it.

Start saying no. Learn from the pressure you find yourself in and start saying no to the things that aren’t important. Or learn to ask yourself to look for the great instead of the good. There are LOTS of good things I can do and be involved in; but I’ve learned (over and over I’m sorry to say) that I can’t do all of those good things. So I need to choose the great ones. And be content with greatness. Not consumption or perfection of it all.

Whittle down the list. I think for too long we’ve been told and have told ourselves we can do it all. And we have technology now to help us. But I think we’ve put ourselves on a dangerous slope by believing that. Because if I can do it all, why do I need others? Why do I need to work on relationships? I mean, if I have my smart phone, do I really need anything or anyone else? So I need to whittle down the list of what’s important for this season of my life. Notice I said for this season. You may have dreams of doing things or accomplishing something big for God. But this may not be the season. Your season right now may be to focus your energy and your time on your family. Or on your baby. Or learning to fix dinner so you can save money by not eating out every night. Seasons. Whittle down the list to what fits this season today. And pray about it first. Because your list, and God’s list for you, may be completely different. (I’d go with His, by the way).

So those are just some thoughts I wanted to share. I’m going to be whittling down my list. I’m going to try and learn to say no more. (This is a hard one for me.) And I’m definitely going to remind myself that giving this life to God is a daily requirement – not just when we get around to it, or feel like it.

Question: What’s one thing you can do today to ease the pressure you put on yourself?

This morning I stomped my feet when my husband asked me one too many questions for my already overloaded brain. Yes, stomped. Like a 2 year old. Like an “aaah I don’t wanna deal with aaah one more thing aaah send me out to peaceful pastures NOW” tantrum. Not my proudest moment. I regretted it as soon as I did it. And I knew what an idiot I just looked like.

But I’m thankful to God for the man he gave me.

Because Cliff just looked at me. Took a breath (which is what I should have done instead of taking a stomp) and said, “It’s going to be ok.”

There’s a lot happening around here at the Horn household. I’m not going to share all the details right now but there’s just. A. LOT.

Changes are coming, pressure is rising and an already too-long to-do list is growing. Plans you thought you had in place don’t apply anymore. Big fat questions appear where you thought answers already were.

It’s a storm and it is here.

Which makes me think of another storm, a literal one, where some men were in a boat, IN a storm and freaking out too. Maybe one of them even stomped. Especially when they saw their leader sleeping through the whole thing.

Because they were panicked! They were scared! They were hollering “Danger! Danger Will Robinson!” (Ok, maybe not those exact words but I bet they were hollerin’.)

And then Jesus woke up. Stood up. And said to the storm “Peace, be still.” (Mark 4:39, ESV).

You may be like me today – not finding yourself in a literal storm but struggling with a storm in your heart. In your mind. With your emotions. Fighting fear and doubt and the big one for me – Self. My needs, my wants, my thoughts. God is teaching me to give up myself. And boy, that doesn’t feel good at all. Because that’s not what the world around us tells us, is it?

The world tells us to look out for ourselves, to fight for #1 (the big Me) in everything – not just in work but our marriages, in our families, in our friendships and relationships with others. But that is definitely not what God teaches us. Or wants for us.

Here’s what  I read this morning in my quiet time (which unfortunately but honestly was before I stomped my feet. I know, I’m a slow learner sometimes…).

“Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Your heart must not be troubled or fearful.” ~ John 14:27.

Jesus did not leave us in this world without a life vest or a rescue boat. His peace is what we have when we have a relationship with Him. And don’t miss what He says – He doesn’t give to us what the world gives. He may not give us what the world says is wonderful – big houses or expensive cars or a life of luxury with no problems ever (I’m not sure anyone can say that – or if they can, they’re in denial.)

Storms are scary, they’re loud, they’re violent, they freeze us up and shake us down. But Jesus brings peace. And He’s telling me today, He’s telling you today, to be still. To take a breath. And trust Him.

With everything.

If you’ve read My So-Called Life as a Proverbs 31 Wife, then you know one of the biggest hurdles my family has faced in recent years has been a full time job. My husband, a Navy reservist in the military world, but a marketing and promotions guy in the civilian, was laid off from his last full time position in 2008, six months after he got back from his first deployment. At a time that’s already filled with transitions – losing a job made it all the harder.

For 2 years, he searched. He sent in many applications, turned in reams of resumes, and went on lots of interviews. Often, he was part of the final set of applicants they were deciding from. But he was never picked for the job.

While I stayed busy writing, it’s a fact that the book world is often feast or famine, and eventually I found myself in between book projects (writer terminology for “I’m waiting for the next contract”) and my husband and I both believed God was leading us to move. We had held on as long as we could to our beloved Nashville, but He obviously wanted us somewhere else.

The only door that opened was to a job in South Carolina. For me. I wondered what it would mean for “my” dreams of writing, what would happen to “my” ministry, and what it would mean for our family.

We had no idea what God had in store. But we were finally at the point we would go wherever. He had our attention.

What resulted, as most often does when God gets our attention, was a whole lot of lessons He taught us. One of the biggest was that my “me” mentality had to go. That “He” came first, and then “we.” He has changed me as a wife. He has changed me as a mom. And hopefully, He’s changed me in my writing and my ministry. All for the better.

He’s taught me a great deal about obedience over the last two years. And patience (which I haven’t always received gold stars for!). And waiting. Oh my goodness. We know about waiting. I kinda think I know how the Israelites felt as they wandered around for 40 years wishing they could finally be done already with the waiting  and enter the Promised Land.

But today, the waiting came to an end.

Today my husband went to work.

When you’ve waited so long for something and it finally happens – it’s hard to put into words. I’ve been really quiet the last month or so – online, anyway. Here on this blog, on my other blogs, on Facebook and Twitter. Part of my silence was being at the moment where you’re so close to something you’ve waited for, for so long, and wondering if it’s finally going to happen but fearing that it won’t. Part of it was just wanting to listen to God’s quiet voice by myself. Not necessarily sharing everything He was teaching me with others. I’ve learned there are some things He just wants me to think about. Some lessons that are only meant for me.

The only way I think I can describe how I feel today is peace. But even then I’m not so sure that’s a completely accurate description. Because as Cliff and I were talking last night before we went to sleep about this momentous day finally arriving, we had to reflect on what God did in our lives up to this point. And how He provided every step of the way. He provided for us. Whether it was contract work for Cliff or freelance assignments or speaking opportunities for me, or just through the generosity and love of parents helping out when we had no idea how else to make it work – God provided. It wasn’t easy, and many days it was frustrating and scary. The unknown can often be a scary destination. But as we look back over the journey God’s led us on these last couple of years, I’m not sure it’s one that we would trade in.

Because through the unknown, God made Himself known. Over and over again. And through the waiting, (OK, let’s be honest – sometimes the agonizing of my human heart) – He grew my trust. He stretched my dependence on Him. He pulled me forward to the place He had in mind for me all along. As a wife, a mom, as His daughter.

I can’t forget the friends and family and so many Facebook friends – military wives I’ve never met – who have prayed for us. THANK YOU for your love and support and encouragement. It has been such a blessing and Cliff and I are so grateful. Please continue to pray for us – that Cliff’s job will go well, and as we work to “get settled” with our own home (our prayer for 2012!), that we will never “settle” in the journey, but that we will continue to seek God’s will in everything we do.

So what’s next? More lessons I’m sure. But I want to encourage any of you who are reading this today and also in a “waiting” season. Don’t fight the waiting but learn from it. Don’t pray the waiting away but pray that God will teach you what He wants you to know.

I’m reminded of a couple of verses, one that I’ve held onto the last few years, and another I just found this morning.

From Ecclesiastes 7:14 -

“When times are good, be happy, but when times are bad, consider; God has made the one as well as the other. Therefore, a man cannot discover anything about his future.”

And from this morning, as I was reminding myself about the Israelites’ waiting – and when God finally allowed them to move forward…

“The Lord your God has blessed you in all the work of your hands. He has watched over your journey through this vast desert. These forty years the Lord your God has been with you, and you have not lacked anything.”

That is certainly my family’s testimony today.

Question: How have you seen God provide in your life and in your family’s life? 

Good morning friends!

We’re going to take a break from the challenges for a little while. I hope that’s ok. I had something happen last week that quite honestly hurt my heart deeply and I’m giving myself some time to get over it. I’m not going to get into the details (and it had nothing to do with the challenges) and I debated even saying anything at all, but I’ve always tried to be honest with my readers on what’s happening in my life – mistakes I’ve made, lessons I’m learning, things that are troubling me, and above all, giving God the praise He deserves in all of it. I’m thankful that God is bigger than any splinter that slows us or 2×4 that tries to knock us down! And this felt like a 2×4 that was not deserved (and I’m usually the first to admit when something is deserved and I’m usually the one to pick up the board first! Just ask my hubby – he’s usually the one to wrestle it away from me! So thankful for him!).

So right now, I just feel like I need to soak in His Word for a little bit. So we won’t be doing challenges right now, but I hope to do more writing. I will also be taking a bit of a social media break (via FB and Twitter)  beginning Nov. 1 through the end of the year. I’ll still post important announcements as they come up, but if you follow me on any social media channel, you’ll probably see a lot less of where I’m eating or what I’m doing. I know… such a disappointment. <grin>

Anyway, I wanted to share with you a thought I’ve literally had on my list to write about for like the last month (see why I need a social media break?) It’s about the presence we have in the lives of our families. Read More→

So, I confess. I have a weird habit of finding spiritual messages in secular songs. I don’t know why I do it, it’s just something I’ve discovered I tend to do, especially the last couple of years. And lately, as Cliff and I have been running in the early mornings and I’ve got my playlist going in my ears, I’ll find myself applying some of those songs to God. Or at least having a conversation with Him about it. Though even I must say finding spiritual application in Christina Aguillera’s “What a Girl Wants” surprised even me (but it can work. Kinda. In the chorus).

Yesterday was a good day. And a not so good day. Cliff had to drive to New Orleans to take care of some paperwork, transferring his reserve base from Tennessee to Louisiana, so I got both Caleb and I ready for church, even made something yummy  since I signed up to bring something for breakfast for our Sunday school groups yesterday (more on that tomorrow!) and we were out the door and on time. After church, we came home, did lunch, and I spent the afternoon cleaning the house so everything would look nice this week.

Cliff made it home just in time for us to head out the door again for our small group Bible study and while we were dropping Caleb off at his class, we ran into our pastor who asked Cliff how his job search is going. Read More→

Philippians 4:8 (MSG) -
“Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse.”

I’ve been on the road the last couple of weeks spending time with some great groups of military wives. One of the things we’ve been talking about is how we think as wives, and how those thoughts shape our attitudes and behavior.

When I think about the Proverbs 31 wife, one of the first verses that always jumps out at me from her passage is verse 12 – “She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.”

There have been many days over the years of our 13 year marriage that I know my thoughts, and ultimately my words, have not brought good to my Handsome. But if there is anything I have learned through my year-long “experiment” trying to be like the Proverbs 31 wife, it’s that my thoughts and my words and my attitude set the temperature of my family.

When I stress, when I worry, when I struggle – often I can take those feelings out on my poor unsuspecting husband. I just assume he should read my mind, after all, or worse, fix all of my problems in an instant.

I’m learning to think otherwise. Read More→